The End of a Bad Day.

Bad days suck. Especially when they start at 4:15 am, and don't end until 11:30 pm.

 

This weekend, the hubby and I decided to venture to the Fraser Valley to visit my dad for the long weekend. I started freaking out a little before we left - My dad is notorious for being anti-technology, and I'm in the middle of trying to complete in NaNoWriMo. However, things were going much better than anticipated. In the evening, I'd sit down and write a couple thousand words (staying steadily behind on my daily quota), but I was determined not to let it get away from me.

 

Then Sunday happened.

 

Firstly, we woke up at 4:15. 'We' includes a 2 year old, which as any parent will know, is the furthest thing from ideal. Despite my growing headache, I was optimistic. We took a couple rifles, packed a cooler for lunch, armed ourselves with warm beverages, and were off. 2 hours later, we arrived at the very broad area of Boston Bar.
 

We proceeded to spend the next 11 hours driving up old logging trails as we searched for fall deer, grouse and quail. In the front seat, my dad drove and my hubby sat shotgun with a rifle, prepared to leap from the car in the event a bird was spotted. My son, his car seat in the middle of the back bench, and I were left to our own devices. Mostly, we slept and cuddled, but over all, our presence was greatly unnecessary. In 11 hours, I spoke a total of twenty-five words, most of which happened when we stopped for lunch.


The drive back in the dark allowed for some time to contemplate my day. It left me with a sour taste in my mouth. All I'd done was watch my son, sleep, and take up space in the back of a truck when I could have spent the day still watching my son, but also writing, doing laundry, packing for our departure back home, etc... .

We finally arrived at my dad's house, and I was irrationally angry - the kind of anger that draws unwarranted tears. After unpacking, and refraining from scolding my hubby for allowing our son outside in his soft-soled slippers, I secluded myself in our bedroom and took a breather.




Copyright 2013 to Bobbi St.Jean

I was projecting my negative emotions, and letting some of my fears get the better of me. Perhaps my hubby thinks my dream of becoming a published author is a waste of time. Perhaps my dad agrees, or thinks I should spend more time advancing my education to get a "real" career. Maybe I was afraid that if I failed in my personal goals now, I'd continually fail and not achieve the dreams I've had since late elementary school.

Regardless of what caused my mood, it had nothing to do with my family. It was all on me. In my own perceptions of what I should have been doing with my time, I let myself become unable to enjoy the day I'd spent with them. I, like so many people in this day and age, had become so focused on my own little world that I'd neglected to find the joy in being with people who love me, and whom I love back.

So, at the end of my terrible day, I decided to stop and re-centre myself. Instead of  allowing everything bad to crowd my mind, I focused on the best part.

 We'd chosen a gorgeous place for lunch; It was just to the right of an absolutely breath-taking waterfall. We were stopped for nearly an hour, and I let the sounds of the waterfall soak into my being. Even living on an island as I do, hearing running water is rare, and waterfalls have always been my weakness. The serene scene was augmented by my son, who enjoyed his first time in "real" outdoors, and the laughter of my hubby and father as they shared funny stories or jokes.

Looking back to this weekend, I know I won't be remembering how horrible I felt, or how I hadn't written my daily quota of words. I would remember watching my family interact beside a beautiful natural setting in my home province with nothing on their minds except being with each other.