Have a Very Faerie Holiday.

Sparkles. Music. Glitter. Singing. Baking. Twinkling. Revelry. Laughter.

All of these things attract and tantalize Faeries, good and bad, in the winter months just like the spur our own emotions. Nothing revs them up more than the sight of twinkling lights and perfectly wrapped packages, tins full of sugar cookies with icing or maraschino cherries, and rum-spiked eggnog. Oooo, the temptations!

It's hard for the Faeries to stay good at this time of year, especially if they're the mischievous type. So, I offer this wisdom for keeping them entertained and away from things you want left alone.

1) Keep broken decorations. Something about the crash and crunch of glass baubles makes trouble-makers giggle, and if you think plastic is safe, you are wrong there too. My suggestion to prevent breakage is to keep broken ornaments in a vase (out of reach of pets or children) so they can crush those bits instead. Besides, the Faeries like to use the bits as mirrors, or for their own decorating.

2) Always keep a small plate of sweets for them in every room. Yes, every room, or at least the ones that have other things the Faeries are attracted too. Providing them with their own treats is a preventative gesture- Your cookies may disappear slower from your cookie jars this way.

Art by Amy Brown

3) Leave wine with the sweets. Faeries love wine. It doesn't really matter what kind, though they do prefer Elderberry and fruit wines over all others. Wine will ensure that you have less spills over the holidays, and your other alcohol will be safe from their prying hands. Use wine when all else fails.

4) Don't leave wrapped gifts in unlocked areas. Fae, like puppies and curious children, tear through wrapping paper and ribbon like its their job. Creative gift hiding may work on the kids, but don't be fooled. The Faeries are watching, and that perfect wrapping you did won't last more than a second once you stash it in a place no one will find (that includes you, and when you go to hide something there next year, you'll suddenly remember why there was one less gift). The best way to keep Faeries out of your gifts is, ironically, to lock it away. Faeries are honour-bound to respect boundaries set by locks (even a simple slid-lock). Setting up a closet with a lock on it can be an effective way of keeping both the kids and the Faeries out of your holiday wrappings.

5) Don't use tinsel. Tinsel provokes cats and Faeries alike. Nothing says "destroy me" like the reflected light of twinkling, blinking tree lights or candles off the shiny surface of tinsel (as if the tree wasn't tempting enough). The last thing you need is a Faerie pulling your tree over because they went into a tinsel craze. Use garlands instead, and on the inner parts of the tree. If you really need tinsel in the house, string it up on the mantle, over a railing, or tape it to the ceiling fan.

6) Don't forget to set holiday rules. Along with the normal rules, be sure to set an extra layer of protection against Faerie mischief. With family and friends inbound, Faeries have great times toying with new arrivals. Make it very clear that they are not to bother anyone, nor are they to sabotage anything (electronics are a favourite) until after the holidays are over. If you're travelling instead, be sure to set rules that protect you from having stowaways, and rules that prevent the house from becoming discombobulated while you're gone.

7) Never leave an electronic device unattended while turned on.  This is like a beacon to them, it calls, and they will do whatever they can do mess it up. Electronic energy disrupts the natural flow of Magical energy, so as much as the Faeries may love the lights and music and all that comes with the Holidays, they will sabotage your decorating if its running too often. The same applies with your TV, your computer/laptop, and even simply keeping lights on in the house. The more electricity you use at once, the worse it is. So do them, and yourself, a favour and limit electrical use this holiday. You don't want to find out that Christmas Eve, your tree lights aren't working and you've "misplaced" the replacement bulbs.

8) Don't forget to give them something too. After all, Faeries can be quite spiteful. Regardless of leaving sweets and wine, the Faeries will expect all these rules and restrictions that come with good behaviour to be rewarded. Gifts can be something as simple as a bottle of glitter, or a packet of their favourite seeds or spices. You can also try small tumbled gemstones, or building a Faerie house or garden for them to pamper. Showing gestures of appreciation to them helps to keep them kind towards you as well, and much of that helps in avoiding holiday mishaps.

How to Christmas Shop for Your Husband

I have been happily married for 18 years. You would think, after all that time, that I would know what to buy by husband for Christmas. You would be wrong.

Even after 18 years, I often find myself at a loss as to the perfect gift. So I turn to the smartest man I know for advice. My father, David Haggard,  provided me with 14 clear and simple rules for gift shopping for men. I pass his wisdom on to you.

RULE #1 When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

RULE #2 If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

RULE #3 If you are broke, buy him anything cheap for his car-- a 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer, or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

RULE #4 Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if men really wanted to wear bathrobes, they wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

RULE #5 You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

RULE #6 Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

RULE #7 Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.

RULE #8 Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

RULE #9 Good places to shop for men have names like Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."

RULE #10 Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

RULE #11 Tickets to any Pro Football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.

RULE #12 Men love chain saws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

RULE #13 It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

RULE #14 Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.

"How do you do it?"

Last night as we lay in bed, my hubby turned to me and asked, "how do you do it?"

I had to take a moment, then ask what he meant. "How do you do it day after day? How do you be a mother, a wife, a housekeeper, and still stay so happy?"


I proceeded to list off reasons why.

- My life has been defined by being a mom, being a wife, and keeping the family together, and while I wasn't given much choice in the matter, I choose not to resent it.
- I choose to see the happy moments in ordinary things, like watching my son learn to count on his fingers, and laughing when he dances with the broom.
- I told him that being a wife was no different now than before our son was born, and that while it can be stressful, I don't regret it. After all, things could be much worse, my life could have turned out much differently.
- Why shouldn't I be happy when I have a life filled with family and love? Etc...

However, beneath all of this is one reason I failed to mention. The reason that, even though things went far askew from my original plan, I've remained happy in my life is something bigger than small joys. It stems from a desire I've had my whole life.

As a child, I struggled with body image, like most chubby girls do. While my friends were all pretty and outgoing, I considered myself plain and was the shy, supportive one. My first crush (which lasted for four years through elementary school), rejected me at a dance once, and that's what sealed my deepest desire.

All I've wanted through life is to be happy with a man who loves me, and start a family.

Shallow for modern dreams, I know. Women are expected to want so much more these days, that the idea of happiness coming from settling down is almost embarrassingly under-achieving. However, I've achieved my deepest desire, and considering there are women who have everything but the family they wanted, suddenly that dream doesn't seem so minimal.

Wishful Wednesdays: Mistress of Autumn.

Art by Augusto Peixoto.

Not much to say today.

I'm afraid I have precious little to say. Holiday preparations have taken over my brain, and my creativity is being siphoned off slowly as I realize Yule is only 20 days away, and I will have family flooding my house. 

Today, I'll leave you with a simple piece of art that previews things to come this month. 

Trimming the Tree, by Amy Brown.